Embracing Aging: A Journey of Growth and Purpose
My personal journey through aging, self-acceptance, and rediscovering purpose after decades of being told I was wasting my potential.
Aging has always been a deeply personal topic for me. Growing up, I was fortunate to have strong, older women in my life who inspired and guided me. My grandmother and my aunt, both of whom lived into their 90s, were my pillars of strength and wisdom. My grandmother, especially, was a central figure in my life, and my aunt in Switzerland became an invaluable mentor as I navigated my own journey through life. Their stories, experiences, and insights started to make me think about the topic and the process of aging.
But aging is a strange experience when you’re in the middle of it. For the longest time, well into my 30s, I still thought of myself as 20-year-old—until I actually talked to 20-year-olds. They were completely different humans, with different references, especially when it came to music. The artists I grew up listening to? They barely knew them or called them “old school”. The cultural moments that shaped my youth? To them, they were just history. That’s when it really hit me—I wasn’t 20 anymore. That, and the moment people stopped calling me "Miss" and started calling me "Ma’am." It still don’t like that change…
Defining Aging
Aging, to me, is a journey marked by both physical changes and profound growth. Yes, our bodies undergo transformations—muscle mass may decline, bones lose density, and our reaction times might slow. But it’s also about stepping into a deeper sense of self. With age comes a shedding of societal expectations, a heightened ability to focus on what truly matters, and—if we let it—the opportunity to embrace our authentic selves.
One of the Biggest Misconceptions About Aging
One of the most pervasive misconceptions about aging is the inevitability of cognitive decline. While it’s true that our cognitive functions may change, staying physically and mentally active can significantly mitigate these effects. Regular exercise, mental engagement, and social connections are powerful tools to maintain cognitive health. What’s more, many older adults have an incredible capacity for learning and adaptation, often outpacing younger generations in resilience and wisdom.
My Personal Aging Journey
My personal approach to aging is based on continuous learning and growth. In 2025, I’ve set a goal to try one new thing each month. I’m also focusing on the pillars of brain health that matter most to me: exercise, nutrition, and social connections. While I’m working on improving my nutrition, I strive to stay active and maintain connections with diverse groups, which has been a rewarding part of my journey.
But the real turning point in my life—what changed everything—was finding my purpose.
The Search for Purpose and the Pain of "Wasted Potential"
I spent most of my life hearing that I was "wasting my potential." After my PhD—an experience that was emotionally and mentally draining—I didn’t have the bandwidth to push forward in a traditional academic career. I was exhausted, depleted from working for a narcissistic advisor who did everything possible to prevent me from finishing my degree.
So, I did what I could. I focused on what I enjoyed: exercise and music. I became a personal trainer and a DJ, while still working as an adjunct professor to keep my connection to academia. But it was fitness and music that brought me happiness. Even so, I was lost. My mental health suffered, and I struggled to figure out where I fit in the world.
People around me would look at my credentials, my intelligence, my education, and tell me I was wasting it all. That I could be so much more. But the thing was, I had lost my purpose. I had lost myself during my PhD—doing something I didn’t truly want to do in an environment that crushed me. I’m strong, I’m resilient, and I pushed through. I finished my PhD. But the toll it took on me was immense. And it took years of hard work to find myself again.
But when I did, I didn’t just find myself. I found my purpose.
I accepted myself for who I was, and once I did that, I was finally able to focus on what I do best: helping people—especially those who don’t fit into traditional molds. As a neurodivergent person, I’ve always felt different. I spent years trying to fit into a system that wasn’t made for me. Now, I use that experience every day in my work. It makes me a better, more empathetic trainer, educator, and coach.
And you know what? Once I found my direction, no one questioned what I was doing anymore. They stopped telling me I was wasting my potential. Instead, they started watching and supporting me.
Holding Onto Purpose—At Any Age
It took me decades to figure out my purpose. And now that I have it, I am grateful for it every day and I will hold onto it for as long as it makes sense for me to do so.
That’s the thing about aging—it’s not about clinging to youth or fearing what’s next. It’s about resilience. Life changes. Our roles shift. What we once thought was our path might not be the right one anymore. But what I’ve learned through all of this is that I will always find my way, as long as I stay true to who I am.
I don’t know if 38 was old, but I do know that at 38, I finally embraced my purpose—and it has changed my life.
My Advice to Others
To anyone who feels lost, questioning if they’re too late to start over: you’re not.
Find your purpose, even if it takes time. Even if you have to try different things before something finally clicks. Your mindset, your outlook, and your ability to adapt are the real keys to aging well.
And the best part? There’s no deadline. You can start at any time, at any age.
So, embrace aging as a journey filled with opportunities for growth and self-discovery. Hold onto your purpose—and don’t let anyone tell you that you’re wasting your potential.
Because as long as you’re living a life that’s true to you, you are exactly where you’re meant to be.
Dr. Loïse
Are you in your sixties and want to get tips and insights on how to live a long and happy life? Are you a millennial witnessing your parents’s journey and wishing for them to thrive? Curious about the secrets to a contented life? If so, this newsletter is for you. Subscribe below if you find the content helpful — I truly appreciate it! Thank you!